Open Your Mind and These 6 Things Will Happen

Open Your Mind and These 6 Things Will Happen

Once, I asked a transgender man what his name used to be.  

I was naive.  I wasn't aware that this was an impolite questions to ask a transperson.  Fortunately, the gentleman I was talking to steered me in the right direction.

"I don't make it a habit to answer that question. It isn't who I am, so it's not important for me to share," he said with a smile. 

Great Hair & Great Hugs: The Lesbians Who Tech Summit 2015

Great Hair & Great Hugs: The Lesbians Who Tech Summit 2015

I am a personal and professional development coach. There's not much technology involved in what I do - in fact, many coaches I know still use a landline for their coaching calls, and I still take notes with a pen and paper. Even the concept of talking to a client on the telephone sometimes eludes people.  No one uses their phone as a phone anymore, and yet it is the number one required tool in my work. 

However, because I work almost exclusively with women who identify as LBTorQ, when I was asked to participate in a coaching workshop at the Lesbians Who Tech Summit in San Francisco last weekend, I gleefully agreed, and showed up not knowing exactly what to expect. 

Here is what I found: 

5 Tips For Surviving Crisis

5 Tips For Surviving Crisis

A while back, I hit a big milestone birthday: 40. 

I always thought forty would be a pretty big celebration of "Hell yeah! I'm killin' it at this life thing! GO ME!" 

I had a lot of expectations for forty.

I expected to be married. I expected that life would begin to really settle in and feel safe and secure. I expected that my career would be at an all-time high and still climbing. I expected that I'd have enough financial security to allow me occasional travel and a splurge once in a while. I expected that I would be incredibly content with my simple life.

Remarkably (and to my parents' surprise, I'm sure), I had all of those things at forty.  I had achieved my goals! 

But then, just 5 weeks after that milestone birthday, my life was rocked harder than the 1906 San Francisco earthquake.  Job loss and divorce simultaneously showed up and kicked my ass.  It was total collapse. Fiery destruction and rubble left everywhere. 

The Letting Go of 2014

The Letting Go of 2014

“How do you want it to feel when this is over?” Lauren, my life coach asked.  

“Like flying," I replied. 

And thus began the process of letting go of everything that I didn’t want to take with me into 2015.  

My journey to Letting Go didn’t come easily.  It came at the hands of a lost job, the end of my marriage, a lot of wine to forget, countless tears on my pillow, and a continuous mask of happiness over what was pure broken-heartedness underneath.  I’m incredibly well-versed in the art of the mask, the charades.  So well-versed, in fact, that it was one of the top things on my list of things I knew I needed to let go of.  

My list eventually would reach 25. One by one, I wrote them on a rock with a big, bold Sharpie: each thing that I wanted to release before 2015 showed up.